The Hindus have a quite a strong philosophy when it comes to dealing with the unexpected and the unattainable. Over the years, I too have tried to live by similar ideology. Otherwise I might find myself talking to rocks. The long and short of it all is: some things you have to let go of.
Such a small group of words, but it can have a huge impact on your life.
While free climbing Widow’s Spire, I received a trump call from my sister. The local law enforcement types have misplaced him after the all these years. I believe it was foul play from most likely at the beginning of his term. That would explain the 99 year sentence in isolation. It was rough for me and my sister, so long without answers. The crime, the circumstances has totally absorbed my sister, while I have learned to let it go. But for this abrupt, tearing at wounds almost healed is almost more than I could handle. But as I looked out from my vantage point on the mountain side, I realized yet again, some things are just larger than me. I centered myself and let it go. I felt the weight lift, but still I felt burdened. I could not for the life of me understand it.
So I replayed the conversation in my head. Each time I felt the sense of disappointment and loneliness. At the beginning of the conversation, I was centered afterwards I was adrift. I let go of the information about father, so why be still unable become closer to the center. While it was vexing I could not delay any longer. She told me to come quickly so I did. I pulled up the image of her house and “went” there.
When she opened the door and let me in, my soul became unburdened. She was her normal self, off in dozens of conversations at once. It was good seeing her. She gave me an update and the note from father’s effects and right away, it felt fabricated. I could not see the path, so I let it go with the simplest of answers. The powers that be killed him and pawned this lie off on us.
I stayed over and the next morning while in the sun room painting, we got a visitor, Jordan was his name. He convinces my sister and I to do a little investigation into our father’s disappearance. So we all agree to go to the prison where he was kept in isolation. We find nothing out of the ordinary other than books on weaving and a woven tarot card. All around the prison, there is great damage but this room is intact, almost in perfect condition.
Back at my sister’s house Jordan begins talking about his homeland and come to find that his land is the same land on a note left by dad. We all become very curious. In fact, Jordan believes that we may be related. He invited us to visit his homeland and my sister and I were in agreement. We get to Amber after a few hours riding horses. He told me automotive vehicles would not work.
I like Jordan. He is confident but not over imposing. He introduced us to our father’s brothers, Gerard and Benedict. It appears that Benedict without any evidence to the contrary believes that father could not have been killed, by the locals. However, gave no explanation as to why he would stay imprisoned for 99 years. The he simply left, very rude indeed. Gerard gave no opinion one way or the other.
Jordan took us to tapestry of Amber. My sister examined it and noticed that it was similar in aura to my paintings. So I examined the tapestry and it was indeed powered by the same aura. I tried to activate it and it was being blocked. So I asked my sister for her help and I got that feeling again. I finally realized what the problem was; my sister would not help me. She turned away from me. I was alone. I have never been truly alone. Even in the most deserted of wilderness I have never felt alone. I guess it was, I needed her. I reached out to her and she refused me.
Well, I lost my center and the entire experiment was a failure. I have found we have family and they all seemed overly detached, which in some ways is very impressive. While in others, it seems sad.
I have three projects to work on and then I am back home, mark the courtyard for future visits, climb Kolvir, and find my center.